People · Making and keeping friends

Making friends as an adult

Adult friendships don't just happen like they did in school; you have to build them on purpose. Join one recurring thing (a class, team, club, volunteer shift or faith group) so you see the same people repeatedly. Reach out to people you already know a little: old classmates, coworkers, neighbors. Be the one who invites, say yes when invited, and expect to suggest plans a few times before you can tell if someone's interested. Then keep it going: show up, listen, follow through, check in between meetups.

Easy10 min to read; a few months of showing upFree to cheapChecked October 2, 2026

You'll need

One interest you'd enjoy doing with other people
Your calendar
Your phone's contact list

What to know

Start with people you already know a little: people you've worked with or taken classes with, old friends, people you enjoyed at a party, neighbors and family. Source: Mayo Clinic¹
Join something that meets regularly around an interest: a club, a community class, a gym class, a volunteer shift or a faith community's newcomer events. Shared interests make strong links. Source: Mayo Clinic CDC¹²
Use more than one way to meet people. The more you try, the easier it gets and the more likely you are to succeed. Source: Mayo Clinic¹
Make the first move. Invite someone you'd like to know better for coffee or lunch. Ask a mutual friend to connect you if that's easier. Source: Mayo Clinic¹
Say yes to invitations, then return the invite. Source: Mayo Clinic¹
Keep at it. Reach out instead of waiting, and expect to suggest plans a few times before you can tell whether someone wants to hang out. Source: Mayo Clinic¹
Turn acquaintances into friends with time. See new friends often and check in between meetups. It feels awkward at first and gets easier. Source: Mayo Clinic¹

Watch out Online groups can help you feel less lonely, but research suggests social media doesn't always lead to closer offline friendships. Be careful what you share, and take care meeting someone you met online. Source: Mayo Clinic¹ Don't let screen time crowd out time with people in person. Source: CDC²

Being a good friend

Be kind. Mayo Clinic compares friendship to an emotional bank account: kindness is a deposit. Source: Mayo Clinic¹
Listen. Ask what's going on in their life, and don't give advice unless they ask. Source: Mayo Clinic¹
Open up about yourself. Sharing builds closeness. Source: Mayo Clinic¹
Be trustworthy: show up on time, do what you say, keep private things private. Source: Mayo Clinic¹
Give and take. Offer help, and ask for it even when it's hard. Source: CDC²
Deal with conflict or hurt feelings when they come up. Source: CDC²

Texts to copy

After meeting someone: "Hey, it was fun talking at [event]. I'm going to [thing] on Saturday, want to come?"

Reconnecting: "Hey! I was just thinking about [shared memory]. How are you? Want to grab food sometime this week?"

Keeping it going: "I'm heading to [class/game/park] again Thursday. Same time?"

See it done

Video by Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell Education channel

How To Make Friends

Watch on YouTube: How To Make Friends

2022 · Checked October 3, 2026

The big idea, seeing the same people again and again, is our step 2. Heads up: the last 30 seconds or so is a plug for their shop, so you can stop there.

Video won't load at school or work? No problem. Everything you need is in the steps; the video's just a bonus. Watch it on YouTube later.

If it doesn't work

Nervous about meeting new people? Try deep breathing or other relaxation techniques before you go, rather than staying home. Source: Mayo Clinic¹
Feeling disconnected, lonely or stressed for a long stretch? Talk with a professional who can help. Source: CDC² See Finding a therapist you can afford.
Just moved and don't know anyone? Search your city or neighborhood plus "meetups" or "social," and try a few events. Source: Mayo Clinic¹

Good to know

The details, if you want them. Tap a line to open it.

Quality over quantity

How good your friendships are counts more than how many you have. Close friends who mean a lot to you do more for your sense of self than a broad network. Source: Mayo Clinic¹

It's a health issue

The CDC says adults who often feel lonely are more than twice as likely to develop depression, and poor social connection raises the risk of heart disease by 29% and stroke by 32%. Source: CDC HHS²³

What connection gives you

People with meaningful social connections report less stress, better sleep, and longer, healthier lives. Source: CDC²

Why it's harder now

Work, caregiving, moving and changing interests all make adult friendships harder, which is why it takes deliberate effort. Source: Mayo Clinic¹

Take it with you

Printable card Download card (PDF)

Sources

Mayo Clinic Friendships: enrich your life and improve your health
Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Improving social connectedness
U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Surgeon General's advisory on social connection

Lesson R2.1 · Last checked October 2, 2026 against the sources listed.

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