Apologizing well

A real apology says "I'm sorry," names exactly what you did, shows you get how it affected them, and offers to fix it or do better. In a study of 755 people, the two parts that mattered most were taking responsibility and offering to repair the damage. Skip "but," "if" and "I'm sorry you feel that way," keep the explanation short, and don't demand forgiveness on the spot.

Do it like this

1. Let them be heard first if they need to. It can help to let the other person voice their concerns and feel understood before you apologize. See Listening so people feel heard.
2. Say the words "I'm sorry." Saying you "regret" it isn't enough. It sounds cold.
3. Name exactly what you did, and own it. "I made a mistake" works better than "Mistakes were made," and "I'm sorry for making that insensitive joke" beats "I'm sorry for whatever I said yesterday". Taking responsibility was the single most important part of an apology in Ohio State research.
4. Show you understand the impact: "It must have been stressful when I didn't send my part on time".
5. Explain briefly, only if it helps, for example to show it wasn't on purpose and won't happen again. Long explanations that sound like excuses backfire. "There's no excuse for what I did" is better than a shallow defense.
6. Offer to fix it. Offering repair was the second most important element in the research. Ask what would mean the most to them, rather than just doing something to ease your own guilt.
7. Commit to doing better, then follow through. A promise to correct the mistake or avoid it is part of a good apology.